This is a Very Serious Blog—at least, it is most of the time. But every once in a while, we take a walk outside and have a little fun.
While I was lecturing recently in New Brunswick, I had a photograph taken of me just outside the room in which I was speaking. Many people in the audience didn’t understand why I was delighted to have that picture taken, since the Bay of Fundy, home of world-famous tides, was all around the peninsula on which the hotel stood.
But many of you know why I wanted such a photo. And now I am asking you to amplify my joy by suggesting captions to the following pic. Behave yourselves now . . . but not scrupulously, okay? Here goes:
PROVIDE A CAPTION FOR THIS PHOTO:
“They got them all into one hotel room. Who knew? I thought there was more of them than that!”
“Bob Jones is sitting in there all by himself!”
“No, I’m not kidding! The gold plate says no NIVs or Intelligent Design books allowed! Seriously!”
Good ones, Brother Turner! Anyone going to keep Brother Turner company?
Inside, they are taking a vote on whether to condemn the rest of the hotel and separate from it.
“In my father’s house are many rooms”… (I was thinking Psalm 23.5 too, but you said it was where you were speaking, not where you were eating.)
1. You serious? You want to go in??? Look at how happy I am to leave!
2. Screwtape to Junior: “oh, oh. We’ve got a problem. If that guy goes in there, we might just have to start paying attention to these guys again”
3. Can you believe it? The Gideon’s are leaving The Message in there. May as well leave the Koran, or the Bhagavad Gita – just as much chance of being cracked open.
We weren’t using the “mental” any more anyway.
“John Stackhouse welcomes all Americans who didn’t vote for Barack Obama to their new, spacious accommodations.”
I hasten to add that I don’t think the opponents of Obama are lunatic Fundies, but that’s so much a part of the popular perception — here in the U. S. and especially where my daughter lives in Europe — that it’s worth a caption.
And here I thought being a Fundy meant accepting the “fundamentals” of the Christian faith. What were they again?
We had a break-out group in that room. It was all talk. Enough said?
“And now, having toured the Roman Catholic, Orthodox, and Pentecostal-charismatic continents in heaven, and the Anglican, Lutheran, and Reformed nations, and the Baptist and Methodist cities, we come to . . .”
prof. Stackhouse was politely asked to return his access key before the mobs finished lighting their torches
“You are not going to believe the deals in there! I gotta a Carl McIntire rookie card for $85!”
Stackhouse: “My liberal friends we’re right all along, and here’s the proof for all my evidentialist friends.”
Now in there is a theology of culture. Ummm, or, culture of theology.
Whatever, they’re nuts.
Sorry, gotta go back in.
Pull my finger’s underway.
Just one room? We’ve got churches full of them in the Fraser Valley!
If you point your finger at someone, remember there are three more pointing at you! (Jack Chick)
“My very own plaque”: Built with funds generously donated by yours truly.
“There’s no place like home!”…
Stackhouse: “Don’t they know I wrote a book called ‘Finally Feminist.’ What more do I have to do!”
“The secretary-treasurer is taking roll … I actually heard him call out John Spong’s name! There’s a prankster in every crowd.”
“In there? In there? Oh, no I couldn’t get in there. I smoke. I chew. I run with girls that do.”
So this is what they did with the left over cash from the library building project!
Stackhouse comes out of the closet.
Oh, like you didn’t know already, Beth!
Welcome!! Come on in. We are meeting on the far right side of the room.
Despite believing that there were many, many rooms,John couldn’t believe where St. Peter assigned him in Purgatory.
“Hehehe … the plaque says, ‘Facial hair, blue shirts, and lack of certitude will not be tolerated.'”
Having spent much of his life stereotyping them, Stackhouse finally went over the edge, unveiling his plot to corral and house them all in one room.
Something snapped inside John when he made the move from simply stereotyping to bottling and pickling.
Brother David! When have I ever stereotyped fundamentalists? I have only ever described them with dispassionate accuracy.
And why should I want to gather them, let alone preserve them?
Oh, the sensationalistic misrepresentation–so typical of one who has left the academy for the popular media! 😉
“Didja see who’s in there? Clark Pinnock. Norm Geisler just explained to him the first rule about Fight Club.”
Of course, no caption submissions are permitted on Sunday.
Today’s conference titled “Putting the ‘fun’ back in fundamentalism” was a real success.
“Barack Obama? In there? You’ve got to be kidding.”
“John McCain? Yep, he got in. But the decision to have him leave was mutual. Something about Agents of Intolerance.”