Caption Contest

This is a Very Serious Blog—at least, it is most of the time. But every once in a while, we take a walk outside and have a little fun.

While I was lecturing recently in New Brunswick, I had a photograph taken of me just outside the room in which I was speaking. Many people in the audience didn’t understand why I was delighted to have that picture taken, since the Bay of Fundy, home of world-famous tides, was all around the peninsula on which the hotel stood.

But many of you know why I wanted such a photo. And now I am asking you to amplify my joy by suggesting captions to the following pic. Behave yourselves now . . . but not scrupulously, okay? Here goes:


0 Responses to “Caption Contest”

  1. Norvel Turner

    “They got them all into one hotel room. Who knew? I thought there was more of them than that!”

  2. Norvel Turner

    “Bob Jones is sitting in there all by himself!”

  3. Norvel Turner

    “No, I’m not kidding! The gold plate says no NIVs or Intelligent Design books allowed! Seriously!”

  4. elliot

    Inside, they are taking a vote on whether to condemn the rest of the hotel and separate from it.

  5. Doug

    “In my father’s house are many rooms”… (I was thinking Psalm 23.5 too, but you said it was where you were speaking, not where you were eating.)

  6. steve martin

    1. You serious? You want to go in??? Look at how happy I am to leave!

    2. Screwtape to Junior: “oh, oh. We’ve got a problem. If that guy goes in there, we might just have to start paying attention to these guys again”

    3. Can you believe it? The Gideon’s are leaving The Message in there. May as well leave the Koran, or the Bhagavad Gita – just as much chance of being cracked open.

  7. Knickerbocker

    We weren’t using the “mental” any more anyway.

  8. SursumCorda

    “John Stackhouse welcomes all Americans who didn’t vote for Barack Obama to their new, spacious accommodations.”

    I hasten to add that I don’t think the opponents of Obama are lunatic Fundies, but that’s so much a part of the popular perception — here in the U. S. and especially where my daughter lives in Europe — that it’s worth a caption.

  9. Derek Langille

    And here I thought being a Fundy meant accepting the “fundamentals” of the Christian faith. What were they again?

  10. Derek Langille

    We had a break-out group in that room. It was all talk. Enough said?

  11. John Stackhouse

    “And now, having toured the Roman Catholic, Orthodox, and Pentecostal-charismatic continents in heaven, and the Anglican, Lutheran, and Reformed nations, and the Baptist and Methodist cities, we come to . . .”

  12. Norvel Turner

    “You are not going to believe the deals in there! I gotta a Carl McIntire rookie card for $85!”

  13. Brad Penner

    Stackhouse: “My liberal friends we’re right all along, and here’s the proof for all my evidentialist friends.”

  14. Brad Penner

    Stackhouse: “Don’t they know I wrote a book called ‘Finally Feminist.’ What more do I have to do!”

  15. Norvel Turner

    “The secretary-treasurer is taking roll … I actually heard him call out John Spong’s name! There’s a prankster in every crowd.”

  16. Norvel Turner

    “In there? In there? Oh, no I couldn’t get in there. I smoke. I chew. I run with girls that do.”

  17. Glenn

    So this is what they did with the left over cash from the library building project!

  18. Ward

    Despite believing that there were many, many rooms,John couldn’t believe where St. Peter assigned him in Purgatory.

  19. Norvel Turner

    “Hehehe … the plaque says, ‘Facial hair, blue shirts, and lack of certitude will not be tolerated.'”

  20. David

    Having spent much of his life stereotyping them, Stackhouse finally went over the edge, unveiling his plot to corral and house them all in one room.

  21. David

    Something snapped inside John when he made the move from simply stereotyping to bottling and pickling.

  22. John Stackhouse

    Brother David! When have I ever stereotyped fundamentalists? I have only ever described them with dispassionate accuracy.

    And why should I want to gather them, let alone preserve them?

    Oh, the sensationalistic misrepresentation–so typical of one who has left the academy for the popular media! 😉

  23. Norvel Turner

    “Didja see who’s in there? Clark Pinnock. Norm Geisler just explained to him the first rule about Fight Club.”

  24. Andrew Lunau Smith

    Of course, no caption submissions are permitted on Sunday.

  25. Rob

    Today’s conference titled “Putting the ‘fun’ back in fundamentalism” was a real success.

  26. Norvel Turner

    “Barack Obama? In there? You’ve got to be kidding.”

  27. Norvel Turner

    “John McCain? Yep, he got in. But the decision to have him leave was mutual. Something about Agents of Intolerance.”


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